Make plans with yourself and stop positive I mean wishful thinking.

By now you must have been fed some "focus and believe and it will just come". This is really just religion without god and it bothers me. You will never get to where you are going without going somewhere. How can you pick up something that you won't touch? How this stuff really works... You want to make more money. You've always wanted to make more money, but now you can see it in your mind. You write $1,000 on a $10 that you wake up to every morning or keep in your wallet or whatever superstitious little thing you want to do. This is the part that actually matters... What do you actually feel when you think about money in general? Are you being truthful with yourself? Is that really honesty or are you convincing yourself? Whatever you are feeling is your starting point. If you are trying to increase your wealth you shouldn't feel that great when you are first engaging in this activity. Think about something you know you couldn't fail... like writing the alphabet from beginning to end or beating your little brother in a game of cards. Is that the same feeling you get when you think about making more money or is another feeling holding you back... Listen to this... its part of your inner voice. It is feedback you can't get from anyone else. If you want to accomplish what you want to accomplish have a conversation with yourself. Ask questions and listen to the answer. When you have worked out your own issues you can go on your adventure towards abundance actually prepared to receive. When you haven't worked out these issues in your mind and you go on this journey, it's like sailing with your arms tied behind your back. Go with your arms strengthened. This is not an opinion... it is self-evident truth. Are you really prepared? Does your personality, your feelings, and your ability to relate to other people really represent the type of person who is ready to create (not just receive) your desires? Again don't use your opinion to justify your answer. Use relative truth. Not sure what that is? Do your research... what does someone that has the things I want do to get them? What would I already be involved in if this were already true? What opportunities would I be utilizing? Why hasn't this happened already? The key word there is ALREADY. Your current solutions may be an answer but they are not the answer. The answer gets you where you want to go. Be willing to abandon a sinking ship before it takes you with it. Re-evaluate your plans before they go somewhere and allow yourself to recalibrate if you see a shortcut once in a while. Lastly, forget about the outcome. Life is all about process. Your goal will come and go but you are still here. Make your goals what you want to experience, not the experience. If you are doing it alone, only for yourself, or doing it without having fun... you are doing it wrong.

Lessons from a hypnotherapist: Feel Bad for Feeling Bad for Someone Else

Lessons from a hypnotherapist: Feel Bad for Feeling Bad for Someone Else: I was sitting at a coffee shop one day when a complete stranger says to me "psychoanalyze me." I thought, "well... this is ra...

Feel Bad for Feeling Bad for Someone Else

I was sitting at a coffee shop one day when a complete stranger says to me "psychoanalyze me." I thought, "well... this is random but OK!" "What makes you happy?", I asked. "If my sisters are happy, I'm happy", he replies. "Which one of your sisters are sick?" After all... why wouldn't his sisters be happy? "Well, I have 3 sisters, and the oldest one is quadriplegic from the neck down." I noticed his demeanor drop and the smile was now a frown. "What's wrong with that?" I was really just curious... I mean I guess it's kind of obvious but I wanted to play devil's advocate. "I feel bad for her because she can't do the things we do and she misses out on life." When he said he felt bad for her, it triggered disgust in my mind. If I were quadriplegic I would hate that people felt the need to feel bad for me. In fact, knowing that someone feels bad for me really sucks. Oh cool, you are talking to me or helping me because you think I am incompetent, powerless, or a victim. Not because you genuinely think I am a cool person and believe in me and know that this inconvenience in my life is only as inconvenient as I allow it to be and only as painful as other people tell me it should be... "Why are you judging her?" In an attempt to make him aware of the unconscious signals he was sending her. "I am not judging her! I love her! She is my sister." Perfect =) "Ok, lets go with that... tell me about how much you love your sister and how you wouldn't trade her for the world, and how you love all the talks you guys have shared, and how you would do anything you could to see her smile..." His frown turns around as these words remind him of his positive memories with her. Times when they shared happiness. "Yeah, I love my sister. She is amazing to me. I respect her. I couldn't imagine life without her..." Now he's got it. He is in the perfect state. "Imagine that every time you were in her presence that you felt that love that you feel for her now. Imagine if everyone she ever encountered also embraced that feeling of love and appreciation when they were in her presence. How could she possibly feel like she is missing out on anything?" "That's true..." He says with slight amazement... realizing how easy it is to raise his sisters quality of life. Next time you feel yourself feeling bad for someone... think twice. Put yourself in their place and give them what you would need to inspire you... to remind you that "you got this" and it's only as bad as it seems =)

Left Brain Words, Right Brain Words

Words are more important than you might think... When talking with your friends, pay more attention to the types of words that are used. Some communication is in the form of perceptive reality and some is in the form of actual reality. When you say, "I had pizza for lunch today." This is an actual reality because it is falsifiable. When you say "I had 2 big slices of pizza for lunch today," the comment becomes relative and is perceptive. Left brain words are words that create internal images. For instance think pizza, tree, shoe. In some way you perceived an internal representation of these external impressions. Right brain words are words that are interpreted energetically. Think love, hunger, tired. These are the words you want to pay attention to in order to accurately connect with the ideas we convey to one another. Lastly notice the difference between doing something "alone" and doing something "by myself."

The beginning of low self esteem...

I was watching my little brother's soccer game when I was distracted by a lady yelling at her son behind me. She was acting hostile and belittling him. When she couldn't think of anything better to do she sent this kid off to stand by the car. Politely, I said to her "I heard what was going on with you and your son and I know that you are coming from a place of love because you want your son to succeed in life and getting good grades is a huge part of that." Embarrassed, she apologized and agreed. "The reason I brought this up was to let you know what was really going on in that scene. You didn't understand why your son was acting that way, and instead of finding out his reason, you made up your own reason that made sense to you... you might have thought he's just being rebellious, or he's acting like he doesn't hear me. Because of your reason you became upset and projected anger on to his consciousness. Let me tell you a little bit about anger and how it is received. When anger is used to communicate a message from adult to child it may activate the fight or flight response. When you were asking him questions, he was already in a state of anxiety, which is why his answers weren't making sense. He was not allowed to fight or flight because this would make matters worse. Not knowing how to calm himself down also prevented him from coming up with ways to calm you down. He was put in a state of helplessness... when this situation repeats it leads to low self-esteem or depression. Another way to approach this situation might be to ask him kindly why he didn't want to do his homework. Maybe he was really smart and he didn't want to be teased by the other kids for being a nerd which means social rejection for life." The mom admitted her son was in an advanced program and she had heard the other kids make fun of him. I asked her to sit down with the family and talk about what's going on. To interview each person and appreciate them for what they add to the team. Perhaps one person is an artist and the other is an athlete and the other is a genius. Each of them would be able to appreciate each other more if they knew that they were appreciated and didn't just hear it.

Preparing for a new years resolution.

Dear Mr. Procrastinator, although you like to pretend that this isn't true, waiting is harmful to your performance. Admit it, starting right away and finishing early if you can would be wonderful. Instead of worrying about it all the time you can actually work on it. Sounds good but how?

If you would like to stick with your New Years resolution you might start by asking yourself what you would like to accomplish.
Stick with 1 task that will take 1-2 months or less.
How long would it take you to accomplish this task?
What is your reward if you complete your challenge?
What is your punishment if you fail?

If you start now and continue being proactive for at least 3 days, the next days will be a piece of cake if not enjoyable. Just keep thinking about the end result. Chunking down a task can make it easier. You may want to take the task and divide it up into a checklist so you can celebrate your successes.

There's one last thing... Have someone else you know pick their own personal challenge and bet eachother. You'll have more fun creating the punishment. Blast your challenge on facebook or tell your friends and family for more accountability. The key to success in any area is other people, even if it is just their support.

Bonus:
For procrastinators... take 5 WHOLE minutes to answer each question giving each multiple answers.
If someone managed their time wisely, how would you know?
What things would they do?
What system would they use to keep track of their time?
What feelings might they have from being so timely?
What is exciting about being a level 10 time keeper?
What level time keeper do you think you are at?
What does the next level look like?
How do you get there?
Repeat when you want to go to the next level = )

Missing something?

Remember when you were a kid and you could find silly in almost anything? Getting dressed in the morning, playing with make-up, dropping something, building stuff, bath time, and going places could all be enjoyable. Around the teenage years things become boring as you have more responsibility and less free time. A couple words that can spoil your fun are chores, cleaning, dishes, laundry, work, obligations, etc. The funny thing is that these aren't things you have to do. These are things that you actually really want to do. You want a clean house, spending money, fresh clean clothes all put away nicely, to do a good job, be helpful. By changing your attitude, you can find pockets of joy in everything you do. Going to work can be pleasurable and so can getting ready in the morning. Focusing on what you don't want to do makes things very difficult, especially when they are things that you want to happen anyways. Anything can be enjoyed if it is celebrated. Be time conscious, but don't rush. Get things done, and see them as opportunities.

Whether you are aware of it or not, you have a mental label for everything. It is best to use words that have an optimistic outlook. Think of something you've labeled with a negative connotation... even a person you know. See if you can change your mental label into something more helpful. For example... problem < challenge < situation < opportunity < goal. When you start setting mini goals for yourself life becomes more prosperous, enjoyable, meaningful, and exciting.

Going to the doctor can be stressful for many people. A lady I knew had to have a medical procedure. At first she was scared because she was thinking about cancer, losing consciousness during surgery, and other things along those lines. She decided on her second appointment that she didn't want to go through this process being scared. Instead of calling it a problem she mentally labeled the whole ordeal opportunity. From that point on she made friends with the nurses, read books during waiting periods to keep her mind from worry, and was noticed by the staff to have a pleasant personality to be around. This made the hospitals job easier and that made her feel good too.

So... find joy in everything you do. You can if you want to.